Rod Abrams Funeral Home Ltd.
For immediate assistance please call (905) 936-3477.
We are here to help you whenever you need us, no matter the time of day.
Private family notices
Paul Conlan (Son) says
October 26, 2013 at 1:32 pm
THE ONLY EULOGY (from Son Paul)
Good friends and family, we have gathered here today to celebrate the most important man in my life.
He was known as Thomas Conlan or just “Tom” to some of you, “our Tucker” to his family in Liverpool, England, Tucker Maher and Tommy Tucker to his school friends…to me he was “Dad”.
My father’s passing leaves a deep & empty space in my life. My dad and I were great pals and our father-son friendship strengthened as we became “comrades-at-arms” in his final battle…the one against his unforgiving illness, cancer.
My dad was an honest man with a strong personal sense of integrity. Throughout his courageous life he never turned his back to any sized foe or hardship, especially if it was to protect the ones he loved. There was no “Goliath” he wouldn’t readily accept a challenge from.
My father was also a sensitive man who preferred the quiet life while reading and writing in his later years. He was a well travelled man too. He often inspired me by telling me stories of his adventures visiting exotic places as a Royal Merchant Seaman during WWI. Places like Casablanca, Zanaibar, the Amazon and many other fantastic tropical places. I still remember a few of the ships he told me he was was sailing on…The Empire Penguin, Orduna, Cortez and the Botway. Along with the beauty of his voyages he would always describe the hardships and perils of being at sea during those dangerous times. I remember him recounting many heartfelt tragedies or acts of selfless valour that he witnessed, which ultimately become part of him forever.
He was a very clever dad, a walking encyclopedia of information. He was always surprising people with the depth of his self-taught knowledge. People referred to him as “a real character”, the type of person that was his own man. My dad was never interested in acquiring money, in fact the more he had the more headaches it gave him…so he got rid of it as fast as he could.
My father was also a man with a conscience and compassion. He readily gave his time to his family and grandchildren while at the same time passing on “gems” of wisdom to those who were of a like mind. He was the “chief cook” in the house but he always served up food for thought and witty comments for those with the stomach for digesting it.
He was a gentleman and those who knew him would say they were better for having known him. I never saw him being harsh with anyone personally yet I remember that he was a ardent supporter of many an underdog…especially anywhere the justice system was being abused to subjugate them. The greed and blatent indifference (of big business) aimed against the common working mans rights and quality of life offended him greatly. The plight of Gods animals and native peoples struggling under the plague of unbridled capitalism greatly offended him.
I remember one of his favourite questions to me as a teenager was: “Who are you Paul?” As I matured this ultimately helped me become very aware of the impact of my actions, especially towards others. It caused me to become more introspective and it fostered a deeper understanding of my inner self…which I still continue to monitor to this day.
Another phrase that he passed on to me was “A person who expects nothing in this life will never be disappointed.”
So, I think the greatest gift that my father gave to me was not money because he valued that very little. What he passed on to me were the tools to actively search out and construct my own authentic “self”. He wanted me to always be at peace with my “self” and to be able to enjoy the quiet rewards of service to others less fortunate…to be humble and use one’s intelligence to serve society before one’s own self.
What he has inspired me to know is that you realize yourself through “Who you are” (i.e. Who am I?) and that our daily actions ultimately define each and every one of us..perhaps even to be imprinted onto our next life, nobody really knows. He made me aware of the fact that none of us who are here, rich or poor nor the material things we spend a lifetime coveting to own are in any way permanent…the only “thing” that remains and that is also taken with us after our lifebreath ends is the results of our actions.
My father and I had many a long “father and son talk” especially during the latter part of his illness. He was greatful to know that his example had also inspired this son’s manner…I remember he said this to me once as he praised me for my steadfast companionship.
What more could any person ask for I thought?
Now I challenge all of you to ask YOURSELF “Who am I!?”
Thank you everyone for coming.
Dad’s favourite Liverpool/Seaman saying ‘Little apples will grow again”.
Please share your message of condolence with the family, It will be visible to the public but your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *